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Seeing stars

How do I feel when I look at the stars?

It really depends. Can I see the stars or are they obscured by clouds or light pollution?

When there is a clear view, I feel like I have a window seat to the universe. This prompt reminds me of one of my favorites of the hymns we sang at our UU congregation in Colorado, Blue Boat Home. People forget that even with all of it’s problems, Earth is an Eden teeming with life in a sparse and desolate universe.

Earth is our Blue Boat Home in a sea of stars

Looking at the stars, I feel the immensity of space and time, and lucky to get to witness existence. The light from distant stars may have taken millennia to get here. I wonder about what it is like there now and if they can see us. What if we are alone in the universe? What if we are not? Which is more improbable? I feel awe and curiosity and a visceral sense of infinity.

As soon as it is clear here at night again, I will go look at the stars. They always point me in the right direction.

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Trees

Today’s prompt reminds me of a poem about trees and poems.

Trees by Joyce Kilmer  
I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth’s sweet flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

Alas, I did not make myself. My mom, dad, and nature did. Or, if you like to call it that, God. Or maybe they worked together. Hard to say.

If I were a tree, sometimes, I would be like these trees:

Pines

Sometimes I rise straight and strong to the sky, surrounded by others like me where I feel like I fit in, sheltered and providing shelter.

Other times, I’m more like this tree:

A few deciduous trees in a forest

Dormant, set apart from those I perceive as like me, standing watch over activity that passes by me – almost near enough to touch – but does not include me.

In reality, I am probably too much of a tourist to be a tree. Trees are rooted to one spot, with solid nourishing roots that extend at least as far beneath the surface as the branches extend to the heavens, patiently waiting and witnessing all the seasons with the appropriate response to the conditions. I tend to want to experience things all at once, whether or not I am ready, and don’t usually like being stuck in one place, even if it is a place that I love. There is so much to experience as a human that I never regret not being a tree.

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Metaphorical Mix Tape

Right now, my music is a mix of what gets played in our house.

My daughter’s favorite song of the moment is Blueberry Eyes:

When I asked my son what his favorite song was this morning, he said Safe and Sound:

But my husband has been teaching him about Funk, so I’ve also been hearing a wide variety of music from the two of them.

When left to his own devices, the man of the house listens to a lot of Medeski, Martin, & Wood:

My mix that I listen to when I’m cooking or whatever starts with Something Just Like This. It could probably use some updating, but it is a reminder to be grateful in what I have when I have it and not waste what is while looking for perfection, but to also keep striving toward what comes next. A life long practice and goal.

That’s my snapshot of music in our house today.

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Solitude

Every place I have ever lived, I have had a place that I go for solitude. I did not need a seperate space where I grew up, as we lived on 40 acres of rolling hills and forest in southern Indiana, specifically selected by my parents for its solitude. I carry that solitude with me wherever I go, but I also sometimes need a physical place to go to help access this interior state.

Ironically, since then, the physical place I go when I need to access this internal sense of solitude is typically, but not always, a public place. Having other people milling around that I can see but am unlikely to need to talk to somehow opens up something in my brain. Almost always, it is an outdoor place in nature, with the exception of the Cleveland Museum of Art when I was in undergrad at CWRU. My place of solitude among strangers needs to be a place that I can walk around, as it is a place I go to think, and possibly feel. Walking helps me work through whatever I can’t get to in my everyday surroundings. This solitude is a sorting out space.

Right now, my go to solitude is the Würselener Wald, the local public forest. I love seeing the seasons fade into each other. I have not been in a while right now because it is too wet and muddy, and I can feel its absence. I also go there with my family, and apparently that is typically when I take photographs. However, many of the nature details in my minds eye are from my walks alone. I particularly love the mossy roof shelter. Sometimes I will just walk to it and look at it, then touch the trunk in the center.

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My favorite Me

Today’s prompt asks about our favorite parts of ourselves. Every trait or characteristic has aspects that are both “good” and “bad when viewed from a place of impartial judgement. But none of these parts exist alone, in isolation. So instead, today I am focusing on my favorite version of myself.

Like when you step on your yoga mat and start stretching, you wake up and get to both discover and create the you that you will be today. Is your lower back tight? Is your brain particularly chatty or distractible? Are you on top of things today? Then the honest accountability of seeing if you are living into this version you are telling yourself that you are- Did you make your bed?

My favorite me shows up. She is there for her friends and family and she is there for herself. Showing up is usually at least half the battle. Bonus points for showing up with compassion and openness. May favorite me learns from mistakes, both her own and hopefully, those of others. She can handle the challenges life throws at her and appreciates the moments of joy in the journey. She lives this life experiencing everything as if she can’t go back and she won’t get another. My favorite me is curious and interested in seeking the truth, but also in viewing the truth in its most compassionate light. If I have learned one thing in my time here, it is that when other people do things that you want to judge, they probably have a good reason and a different view of the situation. Trying to see what that is typically removes many false choices between being honest and being kind.

Living into my favorite me is not easy, and not someone I get to meet every day. Bringing her to life is a continuous and imperfect practice. But I’m not sure of any better way to live.

brown wooden framed canopy above yoga mat
Photo by Tiff Ng on Pexels.com
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Strength

Today’s prompt is to write about something that makes me feel strong. One way for me to feel strong is to be physically strong. At various times in my life, I have enjoyed lifting weights. I miss it, but it is not something I feel safe doing when I cannot reliably communicate with people around me. For the time being, planks at home are my weigh bearing exercise, and I can always do more of that.

I feel strong when I am able to get things done. Completing tasks, influencing outcomes, and looking back at what I have done makes me feel strong, if not always satisfied. There is value in “finished” even when it is not perfect.

Loving, living life, and being open and vulnerable ironically makes me feel strong. I am resilient in the face of a thing that is ephemeral and cannot last forever because we do not last forever. To be open despite understanding that we come into this life to lose everything we love and yet to experience it, to engage with life and love, feels brave and strong to me.

Sunrise – a new day
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Dreams to Remember

Todays prompt is about dreams and coincidentally, I had a strange dream last night.

I was in my kitchen, cooking. My family was around, but not actively involved. I kept trying to make typical things that I make regularly, but they kept coming out crazy. I would mix up batches of flour and milk and eggs, or pull out a schnitzel to fry in the pan. But the food came out of the pots, pans, and oven unlike anything I have ever seen before. One was about a foot tall mass that was sort of gray brown and moved or wobbled around. It looked like a weeping willow or a shaggy dog. Another was a jewel-toned gelatin-like substance that refracted light all over the kitchen.

I woke up before we sat down to eat, but I hope it tasted good and was a special meal to share!

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Favorite Quotes

I started working on today’s prompt by searching for popular quotes. While I easily found several old favorites, I wondered if they really meant something to me why I had to ask the internet for them. So I looked around my computer, and it turns out that I had a file of inspiring science quotes. I picked a few of my favorites to illustrate and share with you.

“Art and nature shall always be wrestling until they eventually conquer one another so that the victory is the same stroke and line: that which is conquered, conquers at the same time.”

Maria Sibylla Merian

“Existing diversity provides the fuel for these innovations; both natural and directed evolution uses this diversity to solve challenges, exploit opportunities, and evade catastrophe. As countless examples from the natural world attest, the alternative to diversity is extinction.”

Frances Arnold

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”

Marie Curie
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Time Travel

I already time travel, exclusively in the forward direction, at a rate of one day at a time. Still, given the choice of one time travel trip anywhere, I would pick the future regardless of whether the trip was a round trip or a one way. It could be cool to go back to events in human history, like the first people on the moon or what it was actually like to live in a pre-agriculture society (spoiler alert- it was probably hard). Or I would hang out with my grandparents again.

The question does not specify, but if we visit the past via time travel, a science fiction writer has a choice – can you access other outcomes or not? I actually don’t even care to go to the past if you can access other outcomes, the option that I find more interesting, because for all the outcomes one can image for a different decision long ago, you can make different decisions starting today and have a huge possibility space in front of you. I just finished reading The Midnight Library, which allows the borrower to “check out” all her other lives.

I will admit that possibility space gets smaller as one ages, as there is less time remaining. So I can imagine the benefit of time traveling back to being a kid and doing things differently. However, things were not guaranteed to work out as well as they did, and you probably already did your best the first time. Although after writing this paragraph, I’m thinking about a million small things that I could have done differently in life and wondering where they might have led.

It is unlikely that ruminating on my personal past will make me happier. The future still has all that possibility and potential. So, where would I go? First, I would commit to taking care of my body so that it can continue to serve me in my old fashioned mode of time travel.

For my magic time travel, I would travel to the near-ish future that I don’t expect to see myself, like 2121, because I’m curious how the threads we are currently in turn out. What are my grandkids and great grandkids like? Does climate change become like the hole in the ozone layer (oh yeah, I remember hearing about that problem before we took care of it) or is it a hugely destructive force? How fast is the internet? Did humans create a generalized AI? Or, more specifically, are we aware of generalized AI operating among us? What do people eat? Do bananas still exist? Did cultivated meat become a thing? If so, how many cows and chickens are there in the world? What are governments like? Did we find something better than democracy, did we hold onto it, or did we fall into the allure of authoritarianism? What is a thing then that is not even on our radars now? It is difficult for me not to get excited when thinking about the future.

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Favorite Photos

My favorite photo I have ever taken is a picture of my grandfather walking away down a road holding hands with two of my young cousins, but I don’t have a physical or digital copy of it right now. So I went through my pictures and picked out some favorites from the last 3 years. As it happens, I split them into two photo galleries. The first is from before COVID times and the second is during. We are pretty lucky to have such a beautiful life.